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Industrial Band Using Power Tools on Stage Accidentally Builds Deck

STRATSVILLE, PA—There are a lot of ways to engage the crowd and get a performance energized, but it's important not to distract yourself while on stage. Said one fan at an industrial band's show who wishes to remain anonymous, "At first everything was just rhythmic, but then their energy eventually just slowly shifted toward genuine construction."

The industrial band in question, Mechanical Zebra Carcass, was performing a very stompy set over the weekend when they brought power tools on stage to get the crowd even more hyped. "Y'know, they had a chainsaw, nail gun, drills, a jackhammer—a jackhammer. How often do you see that on stage?" continued the fan.

It was within five minutes that the crowd noticed that the band had stepped away from their synths and began tearing up the floorboards and ripping whatever they could off the walls to build a very well-crafted deck.

Another witness at the scene of the crime stated, "My dad was a carpenter, and he built some mighty decks, but I've never seen anyone build one so fast and sturdy in my life."

Security tried to intervene and drag the frontman off the stage but they quickly realized that was a mistake. One of the security guards was nailed into the deck and still remains there waiting for urgent care. The band sealed him within the planks of the wood and his leg was struck by at least nine one-inch nails.

All band members have been arrested and are currently awaiting trial. Court records show they have all plead "not guilty due to being industrial as fuck" to all charges.


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