May 10, 2017

Steven Archer of Ego Likeness, Stoneburner Robbed of Hair by Crazed Fan

Archer before the incident (left) and in a police photo taken as evidence (right).

BALTIMORE, MD—Steven Archer of Ego Likeness and Stoneburner was accosted by a thieving fan while performing at a local venue over the weekend.

Archer was slapping fives with fans between Ego Likeness' second and third song when one opportunistic concertgoer grabbed a fistful of the musician's luxurious locks. Before security could intervene, the rogue fan had produced an electric razor and removed the gorgeous mop from Archer's head.

Archer, though shocked and noticeably shaken, resumed his guitar playing for the remainder of the set. Halfway through the next song, a fedora was thrown on stage (presumably meant for Archer) which he angrily kicked back into the crowd.

After leaving the stage, Archer's wife, singer Donna Lynch, could be seen holding her distraught husband as he wept into her shoulder.

No arrests have been made, but witnesses say the thief was a wild-eyed bald man in his late 30s to early 40s wearing new glasses, Daisy Dukes, and a t-shirt that said "Blame Caustic."

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2 comments:

  1. More or less accurate.
    One critique though...
    You missed a chance to photoshop my face onto our hairless cat Sophie's head.


    I'm very disappointed in you...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Any Photoshops would be unethical and damaging to our journalistic integrity.

      Delete

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