May 30, 2017

Hot Topic Employee Fired for Criticizing The Nightmare Before Christmas


SCHAUMBURG, IL—The worker, identified as 17-year-old Krystyna, was let go when she took her previously acceptable melancholy and indifferent attitude too far and referred to the Tim Burton cult classic as "lame."

Riveting News reporter Nicholas Gnames was on scene when the events unfolded:

The store’s decorations looked like Tim Burton held 18 to 24-year-old girls down and tattooed various depictions of Jack Skellington on them in the most visible of places to show the world just how original they are and then stapled the girls themselves to the walls.

As a 36-year-old man, I was sort of inspired.

"Do you have that 'The Nightmare Before Christmas Jack & Sally Reversible Girls Hoodie' I saw on the website?” I asked a girl name Krystyna because she was obviously Ukranian or her mom thought she was creative but was instead a total failure even when she attempted to be a photographer.

"But you’re a man. Why would you want a girl’s hoodie?" she inquired.

Fairly certain I had not heard a yes or a no, I pressed onward, "It’s reversible. Perhaps the reversed side is a men’s hoodie."

"Whatever, it’s like totally lame either way. Everything’s lame."

I too remember being 17 and working my first job. I too remember being unable to answer even the most simple of questions, usually because I was very, very high on marijuana. I felt bad for her. I felt bad for me because I was literally shivering, and if I could just get a hoodie, men’s or women’s, I would not be shivering any longer. I began screaming for warmth. A manager approached me.

"Sir, please, keep it down, our target demographic is 6-year-old girls and their 19-year-old mothers–because they typically like the same things–and they seem frightened." The nerve of this guy…

"Listen, all I want is my 'The Nightmare Before Christmas Jack & Sally Reversible Girls Hoodie' I saw on the website, and Krystyna told me that was lame and assumed my gender."

He fired her on the spot. I felt terrible until later when I saw her working at Torrid where her fat ass belonged in the first place.

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