June 12, 2017

Eric Oehler Accidentally Conjures Malevolent Spirit While Playing Theremin During Caustic Set


MILWAUKEE, WI—Toward the end of the night on day two of Milwaukee's first annual Sanctuary Festival, Caustic had begun performing their set. Eric Oehler (Null Device) was manning the controls and theremin, special guest Brian Graupner (The Gothsicles) was doing something with an iPad while fist pumping, and Matt Fanale (all around douche) was on the edge of the stage screaming into a helpless SM58 and licking the forehead of a Riveting News field reporter.

About six songs in, a focused Oehler could be seen working the theremin in an especially intricate manner. After about a minute or so, a wavering, bluish haze began to coalesce. What initially appeared to be an interaction between the fog machine and stage lights soon became an unmistakable aberration.

"I was just in the zone. Lady Business always gets me going. I began to feel a slight inner sense of dread; I just chalked it up to anxiety, because I knew a Riveting News journalist was watching, and that's a pretty big deal. I didn't even notice what was happening," recounted Oehler.

Suddenly, the bluish haze became a large dull flame, and a dark, menacing figure appeared.

Said an excited Graupner, "I was so stoked; I thought it was a Castlevania ghost. I started looking around for a loose XLR cable I could use as a whip. I can handle those, no problem. Two hits, and they're done."

Almost immediately after the entity had fully materialized, an energized Fanale began sensually dry humping the shadowy figure. It was then that a previously stunned audience cheered and resumed stomping on the dance floor. The dark entity seemingly became confused, and vanished after about 15 seconds once Fanale had reached around and attempted to sodomize it with the microphone.

The guys continued to play seamlessly through and beyond the mystical wraith's appearance, although a cautious Oehler noticeably avoided the theremin for the remainder of the set.

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