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Band With Two Fans Begs For $5,000 in Crowdfunding Campaign

STRATSVILLE, PA—Underground independent project Mechanical Zebra Carcass is once again making headlines within the goth and industrial scene. This time the band has asked for, and I quote, a "pitiful" amount of money to press their new album Industrial Sucks.

"We're pushing boundaries in the industrial scene," said Scario Maclaver, frontman of the group, "No one else can release as good an album as we can! We pirated and cracked a DAW, and now we're making waves."

The waves they so fondly proclaim to be making has netted them less than one-hundred views on YouTube and Spotify combined. Their social media pages are particularly sad to look at considering no one in the scene interacts with them.

"We've been squashed and censored by social media algorithms," claimed Maclaver, "Even though we see other bands utilizing hard work and friendly promotion to lift both themselves and their fellow peers, that's not what we're doing."

In fact, what Maclaver has stated is more than truthful. Rather than attempting to build a strong connection with those around them, Mechanical Zebra Carcass has been begging people for money to get their new album pressed.

"Yeah, we could get jobs and work a few hours during the week and save up the money to press the release ourselves, but my mom and dad have already said they would support me if I brought Industrial Sucks to Kickstarter. So, I mean, that's already two people for a five-thousand dollar goal. Plus, if I pester enough people in the scene about this, we'll definitely be loved and well liked," stated Maclaver.

As of right now, only one person has supported their crowdfunding campaign with five dollars. The message from the donor reads, "Get a fucking job and out of our basement."

The duo behind the music has made headlines in the past for ranting and raving about sites not reviewing their album, trying to make the world's shittiest music video, as well as for accidentally building a deck while using power tool on stage. Who knows what else this wonky band will get up to.

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