WASHINGTON, DC—Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. has been elected as the 46th President of the United States, and he has some unfinished business to attend to.
It seems Joe Biden put the "vice" in Vice President during his time in the Obama administration. According to former White House staff, he would regularly stash his weed in various hiding places, and then get so high that he would forget where it was.
"On more than one occasion, I was instructed to search for Mr. Biden's lost marijuana," said one former staffer who spoke under condition of anonymity.
"Quite often, he would just leave it in the back of the medicine cabinet. The thing is, there are 35 bathrooms in the White House."
The Secret Service reportedly kept a running list of the various locations in which marijuana had been found, presumably to expedite future searches. Common hiding spots include: inside coffee cans, the crisper drawer of two of three refrigerators, behind George W. Bush's presidential portrait, and the inside jacket pocket of Obama's brown suit he vowed never to wear again.
According to one inside source, Biden is relatively sure he left a joint inside a hollowed out copy of Donald J. Trump's "The Art of the Deal," but can't remember if he left it on a shelf in the library or shoved behind a toilet. Either way, he seems relatively certain that Trump would not have found anything inside a book.
Starting January 20th, 2021, Joe Biden will officially put the "Chief" in "Commander in Chief."