June 19, 2017

Gas Leak at Cyber Goth Rave Kills Zero

ISLINGTON, UK—A ruptured pipe caused a gas leak over the weekend inside Electrowerkz, a renowned three story nightclub in London's Islington District. The leak appears to have occurred during Slimelight, a popular weekly Saturday night club event. Slimelight usually operates two dance floors: a darkwave/goth room (on the ground level), and an ebm/aggrotech room (on the middle level). From time to time, the third dance floor (on the top level) will play power noise. As fate would have it, on this particular night, the event had been downsized to only the second level aggrotech floor due to minor renovations in the ground floor.

The patrons in attendance suffered no respiratory issues, and danced the night away to [Android\Kölon:58] completely oblivious to the hazard. The leak was discovered the next morning when a custodian lost consciousness while cleaning the club. Repairs and renovations have since been completed, and Slimelight is set to be in full swing this coming Saturday on all three Electrowerkz dance floors.


  1. Let me guess. The dancers were wearing gas masks?

    1. Did the photo of gas masks tip you off?

    2. Wow, genius.

    3. Yet the article didn't specify how/why they weren't affected. Anyone can paste photos to an article

    4. Then let's see you do it.

    5. That's the joke
      "inserts screenshot of McBain from the Simpson's doing stand up"

    6. Are you serious Hannah? The author of the article placed the picture. Do you know how websites even worK?

  2. I love reading good news for a change. I mean... it's about as exciting as "the Golden Gate Bridge stood for another day," but it's better than the dozen other articles cluttering my feed about police shootings, American terrorist attacks in the states, and general bull-shit.

  3. Am I the only one that finds industrial/cyber goth girls really atractive?


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