DJ Stephen29 Gets Hot Topic Lower Back Tattoo

No, seriously, he did. We didn't make this up. We saw this and were like, "OK, let's just copypaste reality and have that be the joke article this week." And here we are. Looking at this. A thing that actually exists. On a 27-year-old man's lower back.

Hot Topic is an American retail chain specializing in selling overpriced counterculture-related clothing and accessories to teenagers, as well as licensed t-shirts of long-dead musicians their customers have only vaguely heard of. It's where we all went in our youth in order to express ourselves and torment our parents. It's where we currently sneak into just to check out the shirts real quick after buying eyeliner from Sephora. At our age, we know better than to fuck around with a shitty drugstore brand.

Most of us have since turned our backs on Hot Topic, but one man has turned his back toward it. Completely sober and not withdrawing from any psychiatric medications that we know of, the Cincinnati-based goth/industrial/ebm DJ known as Stephen29 has recently made a life choice to pay homage to the store that helped many of us figure out who we are. It's a choice he stands by, a choice he sat and leaned forward for, and a choice you shouldn't judge.

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Gas Leak at Cyber Goth Rave Kills Zero

ISLINGTON, UK—A ruptured pipe caused a gas leak over the weekend inside Electrowerkz, a renowned three story nightclub in London's Islington District. The leak appears to have occurred during Slimelight, a popular weekly Saturday night club event. Slimelight usually operates two dance floors: a darkwave/goth room (on the ground level), and an ebm/aggrotech room (on the middle level). From time to time, the third dance floor (on the top level) will play power noise. As fate would have it, on this particular night, the event had been downsized to only the second level aggrotech floor due to minor renovations in the ground floor.

The patrons in attendance suffered no respiratory issues, and were completely oblivious to the hazard as they danced the night away to an all-night set from Stephen29 who spun classics from [Android\Kölon:58], Mechanical Zebra Carcass, and more. The leak was discovered the next morning when a custodian lost consciousness while cleaning the club. Repairs and renovations have since been completed, and Slimelight is set to be in full swing this coming Saturday on all three Electrowerkz dance floors.

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