April 28, 2018

Ailing Cyber Goth Booted into Safe Mode

LANCASTER, UK—It all started with delayed stomping that didn't match the beat. A once energetic cyber goth girl eventually came to a nearly complete standstill before falling to the ground and convulsing.

"After a few minutes, she sat up. Her eyes were half open, and she just sat there. She didn't move or say anything," recounted one witness.

That's when the bartender called IT. 34-year-old Travis Brenten, a certified cyber goth technician, arrived shortly and started with the basics: Unplugging all peripherals and turning her off and back on again. When she failed to boot, Brenten decided to check the girl's phone for any emergency contacts in hopes of finding someone with a recovery disc. Unfortunately, the phone required a pass code, making it impossible. That's when the experience tech decided to try booting into Safe Mode.

"My main concern was that she wouldn't [boot into Safe Mode]. Fortunately, she did, and I was able to run a memory scan and chkdsk but it took forever," recalled Brenten.

Three hours and ten cigarettes later, the scan stalled at 98%. Not wanting to waste anymore time, Brenten opted to replace the malfunctioning cyber goth with a nearby wallflower.

"She wasn't doing anything anyway. She was a bit apprehensive, but I installed a few more drinks, and she was able to get out there," Brenten explained.

Once the new girl was in place, the lights were brought back down; the DJ pressed play and resumed pretending to press buttons and move faders. Brenten carried the malfunctioning girl out to his van and left.

DJ Gizmotron later expressed his frustration with the ordeal, "It was pretty inconvenient. We couldn't use the dance floor while he was working on her, so no one got any stomping done. I had a huge set list I needed to get through before bar time, and I missed my deadline."

Throughout the night, the girl's cousin frantically insisted that the episode was related to her diabetes, but this claim has not been substantiated.

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