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April 13, 2019

Orgy Sues Messier 87 Black Hole for Copyright Infringement


LOS ANGELES, CA—The recently released photo of the supermassive black hole at the center of the Messier 87 galaxy has gone viral, thus beginning its 15 minutes of fame. However, a certain group whose 15 minutes has long since passed, is not amused. Seminal late '90s, Hot Topic meets Nu-Metal band Orgy has filed suit against the black hole. Orgy frontman Jay Gordon claims that the astronomical phenomenon recently christened "Powehi" is infringing upon the cover art of Orgy's debut album "Candyass" released in 1998.

According to court records, Los Angeles County Small Claims Court Judge Marshall Hartford was critical of the suit and cited multiple flaws in Orgy's case before throwing it out entirely. Hartford stated that it was not possible to sue a black hole or a galaxy. The veteran judge also pointed out that the galaxy in which Powehi resides is roughly 13.24 billion-years-old, thus preceding the album art design by over 13 billion years. According to witnesses in the court room, this was the moment when Gordon's face went white—presumably out of concern for a potential counter suit.

Sources close to the band say Gordon has plans to sue NASA, but likely does not have the finances needed to do so. There are rumors of a potential GoFundMe campaign, however, Orgy does not have a good track record of successfully crowd sourcing funds.

When reached for comment, NASA hung up.
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8 comments:

  1. Wow slow news day? Welcome aboard the ss make some shit up! Seriously?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You need to stop defaming Riveting News. It's all true.

      Delete
    2. What is wrong with you for publishing such nonsense. Maybe they should sue you for LYING.

      Delete
    3. I'd like to see them try!

      Delete
  2. hey moron click the "about" tab at the bottom right of the screen...then scroll down the page a bit when you are redirected and read the part where you find out you are a gullible idiot...k? byesies!

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